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when i was away for holidays i have tonne things wanna posted in here, i'll try to recalled one by one for the next few posting. these thoughts that i have is a reflections of my life flashing in front of me as i am gazing at the 'reban ayam'.
i'll start with this one first..
I have not 'seen' most of my close family, cousins etc for a very long time. this is due that i hardly went back and when am back, i did not have a chance to meet them. this time around i was hoping to meet at least half of them, and it came true. i am so happy to see a few of them and it was hard for me to catching up with them in terms of work and life. i found myself tongue tied in a few occasion as i do not know how to continue the conversation. i asked myself repeatedly why are all these happening. is it because of different lifestyle i am living now or is it because i really don't know carry a decent conversation sometimes? the latter one are more likely the answer.
i do feel that i am lost in within my own language, translations and especially my own world. everything seems to be moving around me but i wasn't aware of what is going on. i tend to over analyze thing in my mind. For an example, before i purchase something that i REALLY need, it took me god 30 mins to decide whether to buy or not and that including analyze pros and cons of the items! according to DiSC profiling, i am in the 'C' quadrant and yes i am what the HIGH C has describe however, my LOW C do co-exist with me.
i need to open up myself to a lot of people and things, taking a risk of trusting people around me, making good-rational critical decision, show people around me that i care, don't take thing for granted and speak up when my gut say that this is the right thing or this is wrong thing & don't keep things inside and in the end felt helpless!
today i felt i start making a baby step for the above...
weather: raining
my mind: king's cookies and cream ice cream
my joint: woofie
my ipod playing: beach house mix - djbj
i'll start with this one first..
I have not 'seen' most of my close family, cousins etc for a very long time. this is due that i hardly went back and when am back, i did not have a chance to meet them. this time around i was hoping to meet at least half of them, and it came true. i am so happy to see a few of them and it was hard for me to catching up with them in terms of work and life. i found myself tongue tied in a few occasion as i do not know how to continue the conversation. i asked myself repeatedly why are all these happening. is it because of different lifestyle i am living now or is it because i really don't know carry a decent conversation sometimes? the latter one are more likely the answer.
i do feel that i am lost in within my own language, translations and especially my own world. everything seems to be moving around me but i wasn't aware of what is going on. i tend to over analyze thing in my mind. For an example, before i purchase something that i REALLY need, it took me god 30 mins to decide whether to buy or not and that including analyze pros and cons of the items! according to DiSC profiling, i am in the 'C' quadrant and yes i am what the HIGH C has describe however, my LOW C do co-exist with me.
i need to open up myself to a lot of people and things, taking a risk of trusting people around me, making good-rational critical decision, show people around me that i care, don't take thing for granted and speak up when my gut say that this is the right thing or this is wrong thing & don't keep things inside and in the end felt helpless!
today i felt i start making a baby step for the above...
weather: raining
my mind: king's cookies and cream ice cream
my joint: woofie
my ipod playing: beach house mix - djbj
3 comments:
Silence is a way to communicate certain messages. So, use silence sparingly.
it happens... even with the closest friends.
take it easy...
klf > i agree! we talk with non-verbal comm more e'day.
bong > thks!
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