my rambling thought..

i want to run away from my own past shadow.

but now, am walking with the shadow from the past that i have been through and past that thought and slapped me twice on my face and point to me how stupid i was. i should have not done it, but i am the problem. the root of it lies in me. i can't stop myself, i cant take control myself. however, this time am sober and the haze is clear. am more wise but the wiser i get, the wiser my mind is. it tricked me that it is alright to think and behave that way, as long as you know how to control it. am i not in control enough?

am scare, scare the intensity will burned me up and i will lose everything that i'm treasured the most... i cant lost again, twice, thrice.. it hurt so badly. it hurt so badly that it would eat me inside out. the fear of facing the same feeling again send shiver to my bone and make me breathless...

come what may for this life and i hope my feeling will never stop what it doing now; keep pounding and longing for you because you have brought the cheer into my life everyday!

weather: dry

my joint: the idols

my mind: thinking about how comfy my bed is

am listening to: haunted - kelly clarkson
picture courtesy of post secret